Running In Pink

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So I weighed myself this morning.  And it wasn’t pretty.  It wasn’t U-G-L-Y, I mean my pants still fit and all, but I don’t feel like myself. 

I’m up +5lbs since the wedding. 

I know what you’re thinking, 5lbs is nothing. Why does that even bother me?

Because it’s not just about the 5lbs, it’s about the next 5lbs that will come after that if I keep up with my lazy habits and excuses for not excercising.  Because of my life moto to ”Never Buy Bigger Pants”.  And because quite frankly I really suck at trying to loose weight.  I hate counting calories, and being hungry, and feeling guilty for having one extra snack because I feel hungry, and then I want to give up.  

Before the wedding it was super easy to just say, “hey I’m getting married soon it’s ok to be lazy.” After the wedding it was really easy to say, “hey I’ll get back to working out next week”.  And now I finally have to face facts that I can’t keep making excuses, no matter what. 

So my plan is to modify my diet in a way that allows me to not have to count ANYTHING while keeping me satisfied, and start a looslely structured workout plan that gets me back into shape but doesn’t feel too ridgid or confining.  (wow I am awfully demanding aren’t I?)

Lately when Ralph and I have gotten outside to run, I havn’t wanted to take a watch, or do a certain number of miles or minutes, I just want to run.  I want to run a medium amount of time, to ease my body back into running, but also want to build some kind of structure so I’m not just winging it.  So I’ve come up with the GENIOUS idea that we will calcuate our runs in “laps around the neighboorhood”.  And just like a good training plan is built on alternating medium and easy days through out the week so will ours.  Medium days we will do two laps, easy days we will do one, and long runs will be three.

Something else I am super jazzed about is doing #plankaday with Ralph – and actually sticking to it this time and not just saying I will do it, and then doing it once a month.  Every day.  No excuses.  I’m excited to see how much time I can build up to – I promsie to keep you all posted!! Last night was our first one and I lasted 45 seconds.  I was pretty dissapointed but I also do much better with headphones in for some reason.  I go into this weird relaxed trance and just deal with the pain. 

So there you have it, I have admitted to having fallen off the wagon and here is my public annoucement and commitment to get myself back into shape.  I said it to the internet so that means I must make it happen!!

Have you ever had one of those “oh crap” moments where you realized you were getting off track?  What did you do to get back?

xx Sara

Ralph and I have been promissing eachother for weeks now that we will get our lazy post wedding butts off the couch and start running again.  We even had mild sucess this week and went out for a nice run Monday after work.  However I am sad to say that is where the sucess ended.  And you know what? I totally blame myself for that.

Well myself, and my commute.

You see this wonderful new and exciting job that I started on Monday (and that is not sarcasm, it is wonderful, new and exciting) has one (ok maybe two) drawbacks.

Drawback #1 – the hours are 9am-6pm.  While it is great to not have to get up at 5:45am every day like Ralph does, staying at work until 6pm is a little hard to adjust to.  I keep finding myself seeing 4:45 on the clock, and then having to remind myself not to get too excited, because I still have another hour and fifteen minutes to go.  It’s really not the worst thing in the world, but it just means less time after work to get stuff done.

Drawback #2, and this one is slowly killing me, THE COMMUTE.  I have to be honest for the past year I have been SUPER spoiled.  My drive to my old job was roughly 15 minutes, at the very most.  The snooze button and I were very good friends, and on top of that, I had taken to a bad habit of being a bit late most days of the week.  The next two (or three or four) months are going to be a bit of a struggle, as both Ralph and I commute from the burbs of Philly, into the city while we ride out the lease on our apartment.  After that there will be a temporary stint at his parents house pending the status on our home-buying endevor. 

So basically I am stuck in this slump of no motivation to run and I can’t seem to dig myself out. 

How do you motivate yourself to get out of the house and run after a long commute home from work?  Do you run at work instead? On your lunch break or after the day is over?  HELP!!

xx Sara

Fact:  I have missed this blog, and all my running friends and the running community very very much.  Additionally Fact:  I was too overwhelmed with my life for a little while to be able to write.

First this happened:

I got married. Wow. Thanks to our amazaballs photographer Suzanne

And then of course there was this:

7 days of laying by the pool and drinking fruity drinks

And all the while I have been dealing with some SERIOUS anxiety about life in general.  It’s been a tough topic to talk about but facing my issues is the hill I have to climb to get over them so that’s the truth.  The past few months I have been hard core avoiding any media because it would sprial me into a panic and no one need a panicy bride on the loose.

Oh and if that wasn’t enough to overwhelm you, I’ll also be starting a new job next week, and Ralph and I have decided to ALSO start house hunting.

New name, new job, new house.  That’s not too much to handle right?

*just breathe*

Since the wedding Ralph and I have gone running a grand total of once.  But that is soon to increase as we begin training for the Hartford Half Marathon in October, and the Philadelphia Half Marathon in November.  I need to get my butt in gear and write us out some serious training plans!!

Have you ever just felt so overwhelmed with everything that running just had to be put on the back burner for a while??

xx Sara

There were a few points in this week where I felt like someone had simply pulled the plug on me, I was tired in every sense of the word.  I wanted so badly to just push through, and make it out the other end feeling “tougher” because of it.  Instead I ended up making it to Wednesday before flat out skipping my run for the night.

I hate skipping a run.  I really hate skipping a run when I know there is no where in the week I can make it up.  Usually I can flip flop with another off day, and a skip, is really me learning to be flexible.  But last week was already as jam packed as it could be, with the previous weeks long run pushed off and pushed off until it was leaking into last week.  I couldn’t afford to skip a run, and the guilt was killing me, until I realized tired I really was.  Life would go on if I didn’t run that night.  Life would go on, and a wonderful chicken tortilla soup would be made.

And then something amazing happened.  When it came time for my lunchtime run on Thursday I felt great.  Three miles went by like nothing.  Friday’s run was even more amazing, a glorious three miles outside in the cold night air.  Plans to spend Saturday in New York forced Ralph and I to push our long run to this morning.  What started off as a planned five turned into six because everything was feeling so great.

When I look back the week, I am sure that if I really wanted to push myself to run my schedule “as planned” I could have.  But I know that I was better off for adjusting everything for how I was feeling.

It’s hard to admit sometimes, that you can adjust and change a plan.  I like structure.  Without it I am a little bit lost, and tend to slack of more than a little.  So the concept of having structure, but then being flexible, is something I am working at a lot lately.  Let’s be serious, life is always throwing us curve balls, always changing, and as much as we may like it cannot revolve around running.  We have day jobs, husbands, wives, kids, parents, pets, friends, and even (yes I know, it’s hard to believe) other hobbies.  Running isn’t always going to fit in at the same time, every day, five days a week.  But if you listen to your body, and change things around as you go, everything works itself out in the end.

Sometimes the desire to stay sedentary overwhelms the desire to run, or the knowledge that you need to run.  For me, most days it’s as easy as just changing my clothes.  There is something about spandex that to some people it causes them to cringe but to me it makes me feel empowered.  I came home from work today not wanting to run, but knowing it needed to be done.  Especially considering I would be heading off to New York City in just over 12 hours for my first wedding dress fitting.  I wanted to feel my best.

I donned the usual cast of  characters, crop pants a t-shirt and my trusty sneakers and headed down to the gym.  This would have been like every other ordinary and endlessly boring trip I had made to the gym this year, except there was only one other person there, and she had the TV turned to CNN.  Cue anxiety.

This is not something I like to talk about much, my anxiety and the things that trigger it, but I’m trying to deal with it.  And in dealing with it I must certainly have to face it, and also, talk about it.  There are about a million things a day that cause me to have mini panic attacks, crowded places, small places, train stations, planes, and lately, the news.  My mind goes to the worst case possible scenario at the drop of a hat.  Missed a phone call from my mom? Someone in the family must be dying.  Things like that.  Trying to steer my mind out of these places is like trying to control your car in a snowstorm.  Sure you might be able to get to the side of the road eventually, but it’s a lot of work, stressful, and it takes a while.  Just the thought of having to be trapped in the gym with a television I could not change (or reduce the volume on, because it was quite loud) was making my heart race

Running is what I do to de-stress, it’s what I do to forget about all the things I worry about and all the things I can’t fix.  I don’t want to spend that time feeling like I am stuck.  My only solution was headphones, and I popped those little suckers in as fast as my fingers would move, I picked the treadmill farthest away from the TV and I just prayed she was almost done her workout.  But she wasn’t, and she even went as far as to turn the volume up louder (I’m sorry was my music too loud for you?).  I could hear the voice of the newscaster sneaking into my ears through the breaks in my music, and I tried to drown it out with the sound of my own thoughts.

I lasted .23 miles.  Pathetic.

Not fair, I thought to myself, that this girl and her CNN were going to ruin my run.  I needed this run.  I deserved this run.  So I did what any rational runner would have done, and what I should have just done in the first place.  Sans phone or music, with out watch or agenda I just ran.

It was cold and the air felt good on my face, and it was quiet and the silence felt good on my mind.  I ran.  I looped around the neighborhood watching people arrive home from work, and come outside to walk their dogs.  I ran and it felt so natural and relaxing as my feet pounded and my body moved.  My mind wandered, as it tends to do on quiet solo runs, and I began thinking about what I would wear tomorrow, how I would do my hair and where we would go for lunch.  I began to think about this very blog, and this very post, and what I would write when I got back home, legs tired and mind full of words.  I read and re-read sentences over, changed words and rearranged paragraphs.  I thought about all the things that worry me and then gave my self answers for why it was all going to be ok and why I was being a crazy face.

Before I knew it, I was halfway through my second lap.  I realized that this is what I had been missing for the past few months.  I wouldn’t trade for the world, the runs Ralph and I go on together, and most nights it’s just too cold or too dark to run outside, but when I am alone on a run with my thoughts as my only partner is when I truly feel at peace.

When it was all over my mind and body felt refreshed.  I don’t know what I would have done if I had stayed in that gym another second but I am so thankful that I left because otherwise I would have not gotten the change to really clear my mind.  I would have shut my mind off, but it definitely wouldn’t be that clear.

Oh yea and that girl on the treadmill? Still there as I finished my run.  TV hog.

Have you ever had a run where everything just fell into place perfectly?  Am I the only crazy face out there that is anxious about EVERYTHING!?!

Every morning as I leave for work I imagine all the people working from home curled up on their couches in their pj’s drinking coffee and being able to work out at any moment they desire.  Reality, of course is not like this wonderful picture painted in my head, but I am still jealous of everyone hanging out in their home office when I have a day that means running on my lunch break.  Running at lunch totally throws me off my routine, as I spend most of my morning picking at my breakfast and sipping coffee.  Around 11am I usually have some sort of a snack, and somewhere between 12:30 and 1pm I eat lunch.  To run at lunch means either eating my mid day meal at 11am, or after my run, and I opt for the latter.  So how do I fuel myself all morning so that I have enough energy for my workout?

Breakfast.  Have a lot of it.  My current go to is a toasted English muffin topped with peanut butter and sliced banana.  Followed by coffee to wake me up, and chase that down with LOTS of water.  Instead of a light snack like fruit, I will usually have a granola bar and a cheese stick, and then a yogurt if I am really hungry.  The key for me, is not feeling like my stomach is on empty before I even get to the gym.

An interesting conversation took place in my office yesterday, one of my co-workers is doing his first ever endurance/running event and someone else in the office had heard about this “Gu stuff” and brought him one.  He came to ask me what I thought, and I had to be honest.  I would only eat it under extreme desperate measures.  When it comes to Gu, you either love it or hate it, and I personal hate it.  It became quite an amusing topic to all my co-workers to read the ingredients, nutrition facts, and visit their website to read about all the different flavors.  Oh yea and also to beg him to try it so they could see his reaction, but he refused.  I offered to bring in some of my shot blocks (which is my fuel of choice) so he could compare.  It’s always interesting to me, what things we in the running world take as normal, and how alien these things can seem to non-runners.  I can only imagine what they would have to say about body glide…

Tip for beginners – If you are just starting out with longer distance and can’t decide what type of fuel you should be eating on a run try it all out before making a commitment to one type!  Test them out on a shorter run to make sure they jive with your stomach (nothing is worse than finding out 6 miles into a 12 miler that something upsets your stomach!) as well as  try all different flavors to find one you like.  

Gu vs chews? (Or jelly beans?  or just plain candy?) What’s your run fuel of choice?

 If you are here to read about running, some days you are probably confused that I talk about cooking.  A lot.  I can’t help it.  I also really like cooking when the steps are 1. chop up a lot of veggies.  2. Open half a dozen cans of various ingredients.  3. Cook together in a pot for a few hours.  The only way it could get any easier would be if it was all in a crock pot and was ready for me to eat as soon as I got home.  But today I had no such luck, as our kitchen was missing many of the crucial ingredients and I needed to make a trip to the store.

The store meant making a list, and a list meant finding a recipe,  so I went right to the internet and came up with this wonderful recipe a la The Pioneer Woman.  She is seriously amazing btw.  And I am dying to make her iced coffee very very soon.

A little bowl of heaven

This meal was a little bowl of amazing.

Lately I am noticing the increase in my desire to cook more and more creative and homemade dishes and meals.  I literally went to bed last night thinking, “I NEED to make chicken tortilla soup”.  Where do these thoughts come from?  Wherever it is, I am not complaining one little bit.  Also, I really can’t wait until summer when it is still light out when I am done cooking and I can take wonderful photographs in sunlight.  One day.  Until then I will just make wonderful food to fuel my running.

 Happy Valentine’s day!!

Twice this week I have completely forgotten that it is Valentine’s Day, and it’s only Tuesday.  I did not, however, forget that today marks exactly TWO MONTHS until our wedding.

Pink sugar heart cookies and a handmade card from my boss

For someone who claims to be such a pink lover, I am pretty disappointed in myself this year.  I didn’t wear any pink today, although my nails are still pink from two days ago, and my top has a little bit of red and purple in it.  I can’t believe I didn’t even pack any pink gym clothes, not even my usual pink socks.  I swear I’m not anti-valentines!!!

How did I not realize that today would be filled with lots of yummy treats??

Double layer heart cookies with strawberry center baked by a co-worker

Even my juice is kind of a (purple-y) pink

I had to get my run in during lunch because Ralph has grand plans to cook me dinner after work.  I tried to suggest that a Valentine’s day run together would be kind of sweet, but I lost that battle and I thought at the very least it would be nice if I wasn’t gross and sweaty when he came home.  After all the delicious treats I am going to need to run closer to 20 miles, than the 2 I have scheduled.

So sweet

I came back from the gym to find these beauties on my desk.  Ok that’s only half true, they were still in the box when I got them and I took them out and arranged them all pretty.  Fact – I have the best valentine in existence.

What are you loving this Valentine’s Day?  Do you have a workout planned with your valentine?

It would be out of character for my mom and I to go a day with out talking about food.  While my sister and my dad and I were out snowboarding on Saturday she was taking a trip to Whole Foods to pick up some wheat seed (so I could grow wheat grass!) among other things.

At thanksgiving I introduced her to the goodness that is bacon wrapped dates, and this weekend she introduced me to the goodness that is bacon, dates, Gorgonzola cheese, and pears.  On pizza.  She didn’t make it for me, but we spent a great deal of time discussing what delicious ingredients to mix together on a flat bread and I literally could not wait to get home and make some.

She sent me home with a pear, and some pre-made pizza dough (I really wish the grocery stores down here would get on board with selling pizza dough) and Ralph picked up some turkey bacon and Gorgonzola and while he was at the gym I went to work.

Most of the time when I cook, I don’t follow much of a recipe, so here’s how I went about putting this heavenly dish together.  Split the dough in half, and stretch each one out into a flat circle on a round pizza pan.  I wanted to use my pizza stone, so I popped that into the oven and then pre-heated the oven to 415 degrees.  Brush the entire crust with olive oil, and sprinkle with shredded mozzarella cheese (about three handfuls), followed by a sprinkle of Gorgonzola (3-4 tablespoons).  Before any of the real assembling, I prepped the rest of my ingredients – pitted and chopped the dates, cored and sliced the pear (very thinly), and cooked and chopped the bacon.

Each Pizza got 4 slices of bacon, about 1/2 cup chopped dates, and 1/2 of the sliced pear.  Top with more mozzarella and more Gorgonzola and bake!  Again, because I’m a weird cook, I don’t time things.  I check the crust to see when it starts getting brown, and then slide it off the pan onto the pizza stone until the bottom is nice and crispy.

It took extreme amounts of willpower to resist eating the ENTIRE thing.  Thankfully I had to share with Ralph and save leftovers for lunch today.

cheesy, bacon-y goodness

Because of the busy hectic crazy weekend I wasn’t able to get in my long run like I planned, and I pushed it to Yesterday instead.  Four miles on the treadmill wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, and my new strategy for making time go by quickly is listening to the same song on repeat for an entire mile.  New mile, new song.  And in a way it made each mile go by a little bit faster.

Do you have a trick for making long runs on the treadmill go by faster?  Do you ever make a dinner so amazing you cannot WAIT until the next day (or next meal) to eat it again? (I do that way too often)

This weekend was wonderful, chaotic, exciting, and emotional all wrapped up into one.  Here are just a few snapshots of the good times.

LARGE coffee for the road trip home

As well as some healthy munchies for the long drive

Ready to hit the mountain

Snow = nature's ice pack for bruised knees

It's hard to snowboard when your foot is numb... slight wardrobe adjustment needed!

Black Diamonds

Sisters!