Running In Pink

There were a few points in this week where I felt like someone had simply pulled the plug on me, I was tired in every sense of the word.  I wanted so badly to just push through, and make it out the other end feeling “tougher” because of it.  Instead I ended up making it to Wednesday before flat out skipping my run for the night.

I hate skipping a run.  I really hate skipping a run when I know there is no where in the week I can make it up.  Usually I can flip flop with another off day, and a skip, is really me learning to be flexible.  But last week was already as jam packed as it could be, with the previous weeks long run pushed off and pushed off until it was leaking into last week.  I couldn’t afford to skip a run, and the guilt was killing me, until I realized tired I really was.  Life would go on if I didn’t run that night.  Life would go on, and a wonderful chicken tortilla soup would be made.

And then something amazing happened.  When it came time for my lunchtime run on Thursday I felt great.  Three miles went by like nothing.  Friday’s run was even more amazing, a glorious three miles outside in the cold night air.  Plans to spend Saturday in New York forced Ralph and I to push our long run to this morning.  What started off as a planned five turned into six because everything was feeling so great.

When I look back the week, I am sure that if I really wanted to push myself to run my schedule “as planned” I could have.  But I know that I was better off for adjusting everything for how I was feeling.

It’s hard to admit sometimes, that you can adjust and change a plan.  I like structure.  Without it I am a little bit lost, and tend to slack of more than a little.  So the concept of having structure, but then being flexible, is something I am working at a lot lately.  Let’s be serious, life is always throwing us curve balls, always changing, and as much as we may like it cannot revolve around running.  We have day jobs, husbands, wives, kids, parents, pets, friends, and even (yes I know, it’s hard to believe) other hobbies.  Running isn’t always going to fit in at the same time, every day, five days a week.  But if you listen to your body, and change things around as you go, everything works itself out in the end.

Sometimes the desire to stay sedentary overwhelms the desire to run, or the knowledge that you need to run.  For me, most days it’s as easy as just changing my clothes.  There is something about spandex that to some people it causes them to cringe but to me it makes me feel empowered.  I came home from work today not wanting to run, but knowing it needed to be done.  Especially considering I would be heading off to New York City in just over 12 hours for my first wedding dress fitting.  I wanted to feel my best.

I donned the usual cast of  characters, crop pants a t-shirt and my trusty sneakers and headed down to the gym.  This would have been like every other ordinary and endlessly boring trip I had made to the gym this year, except there was only one other person there, and she had the TV turned to CNN.  Cue anxiety.

This is not something I like to talk about much, my anxiety and the things that trigger it, but I’m trying to deal with it.  And in dealing with it I must certainly have to face it, and also, talk about it.  There are about a million things a day that cause me to have mini panic attacks, crowded places, small places, train stations, planes, and lately, the news.  My mind goes to the worst case possible scenario at the drop of a hat.  Missed a phone call from my mom? Someone in the family must be dying.  Things like that.  Trying to steer my mind out of these places is like trying to control your car in a snowstorm.  Sure you might be able to get to the side of the road eventually, but it’s a lot of work, stressful, and it takes a while.  Just the thought of having to be trapped in the gym with a television I could not change (or reduce the volume on, because it was quite loud) was making my heart race

Running is what I do to de-stress, it’s what I do to forget about all the things I worry about and all the things I can’t fix.  I don’t want to spend that time feeling like I am stuck.  My only solution was headphones, and I popped those little suckers in as fast as my fingers would move, I picked the treadmill farthest away from the TV and I just prayed she was almost done her workout.  But she wasn’t, and she even went as far as to turn the volume up louder (I’m sorry was my music too loud for you?).  I could hear the voice of the newscaster sneaking into my ears through the breaks in my music, and I tried to drown it out with the sound of my own thoughts.

I lasted .23 miles.  Pathetic.

Not fair, I thought to myself, that this girl and her CNN were going to ruin my run.  I needed this run.  I deserved this run.  So I did what any rational runner would have done, and what I should have just done in the first place.  Sans phone or music, with out watch or agenda I just ran.

It was cold and the air felt good on my face, and it was quiet and the silence felt good on my mind.  I ran.  I looped around the neighborhood watching people arrive home from work, and come outside to walk their dogs.  I ran and it felt so natural and relaxing as my feet pounded and my body moved.  My mind wandered, as it tends to do on quiet solo runs, and I began thinking about what I would wear tomorrow, how I would do my hair and where we would go for lunch.  I began to think about this very blog, and this very post, and what I would write when I got back home, legs tired and mind full of words.  I read and re-read sentences over, changed words and rearranged paragraphs.  I thought about all the things that worry me and then gave my self answers for why it was all going to be ok and why I was being a crazy face.

Before I knew it, I was halfway through my second lap.  I realized that this is what I had been missing for the past few months.  I wouldn’t trade for the world, the runs Ralph and I go on together, and most nights it’s just too cold or too dark to run outside, but when I am alone on a run with my thoughts as my only partner is when I truly feel at peace.

When it was all over my mind and body felt refreshed.  I don’t know what I would have done if I had stayed in that gym another second but I am so thankful that I left because otherwise I would have not gotten the change to really clear my mind.  I would have shut my mind off, but it definitely wouldn’t be that clear.

Oh yea and that girl on the treadmill? Still there as I finished my run.  TV hog.

Have you ever had a run where everything just fell into place perfectly?  Am I the only crazy face out there that is anxious about EVERYTHING!?!

Every morning as I leave for work I imagine all the people working from home curled up on their couches in their pj’s drinking coffee and being able to work out at any moment they desire.  Reality, of course is not like this wonderful picture painted in my head, but I am still jealous of everyone hanging out in their home office when I have a day that means running on my lunch break.  Running at lunch totally throws me off my routine, as I spend most of my morning picking at my breakfast and sipping coffee.  Around 11am I usually have some sort of a snack, and somewhere between 12:30 and 1pm I eat lunch.  To run at lunch means either eating my mid day meal at 11am, or after my run, and I opt for the latter.  So how do I fuel myself all morning so that I have enough energy for my workout?

Breakfast.  Have a lot of it.  My current go to is a toasted English muffin topped with peanut butter and sliced banana.  Followed by coffee to wake me up, and chase that down with LOTS of water.  Instead of a light snack like fruit, I will usually have a granola bar and a cheese stick, and then a yogurt if I am really hungry.  The key for me, is not feeling like my stomach is on empty before I even get to the gym.

An interesting conversation took place in my office yesterday, one of my co-workers is doing his first ever endurance/running event and someone else in the office had heard about this “Gu stuff” and brought him one.  He came to ask me what I thought, and I had to be honest.  I would only eat it under extreme desperate measures.  When it comes to Gu, you either love it or hate it, and I personal hate it.  It became quite an amusing topic to all my co-workers to read the ingredients, nutrition facts, and visit their website to read about all the different flavors.  Oh yea and also to beg him to try it so they could see his reaction, but he refused.  I offered to bring in some of my shot blocks (which is my fuel of choice) so he could compare.  It’s always interesting to me, what things we in the running world take as normal, and how alien these things can seem to non-runners.  I can only imagine what they would have to say about body glide…

Tip for beginners – If you are just starting out with longer distance and can’t decide what type of fuel you should be eating on a run try it all out before making a commitment to one type!  Test them out on a shorter run to make sure they jive with your stomach (nothing is worse than finding out 6 miles into a 12 miler that something upsets your stomach!) as well as  try all different flavors to find one you like.  

Gu vs chews? (Or jelly beans?  or just plain candy?) What’s your run fuel of choice?

 If you are here to read about running, some days you are probably confused that I talk about cooking.  A lot.  I can’t help it.  I also really like cooking when the steps are 1. chop up a lot of veggies.  2. Open half a dozen cans of various ingredients.  3. Cook together in a pot for a few hours.  The only way it could get any easier would be if it was all in a crock pot and was ready for me to eat as soon as I got home.  But today I had no such luck, as our kitchen was missing many of the crucial ingredients and I needed to make a trip to the store.

The store meant making a list, and a list meant finding a recipe,  so I went right to the internet and came up with this wonderful recipe a la The Pioneer Woman.  She is seriously amazing btw.  And I am dying to make her iced coffee very very soon.

A little bowl of heaven

This meal was a little bowl of amazing.

Lately I am noticing the increase in my desire to cook more and more creative and homemade dishes and meals.  I literally went to bed last night thinking, “I NEED to make chicken tortilla soup”.  Where do these thoughts come from?  Wherever it is, I am not complaining one little bit.  Also, I really can’t wait until summer when it is still light out when I am done cooking and I can take wonderful photographs in sunlight.  One day.  Until then I will just make wonderful food to fuel my running.

 Happy Valentine’s day!!

Twice this week I have completely forgotten that it is Valentine’s Day, and it’s only Tuesday.  I did not, however, forget that today marks exactly TWO MONTHS until our wedding.

Pink sugar heart cookies and a handmade card from my boss

For someone who claims to be such a pink lover, I am pretty disappointed in myself this year.  I didn’t wear any pink today, although my nails are still pink from two days ago, and my top has a little bit of red and purple in it.  I can’t believe I didn’t even pack any pink gym clothes, not even my usual pink socks.  I swear I’m not anti-valentines!!!

How did I not realize that today would be filled with lots of yummy treats??

Double layer heart cookies with strawberry center baked by a co-worker

Even my juice is kind of a (purple-y) pink

I had to get my run in during lunch because Ralph has grand plans to cook me dinner after work.  I tried to suggest that a Valentine’s day run together would be kind of sweet, but I lost that battle and I thought at the very least it would be nice if I wasn’t gross and sweaty when he came home.  After all the delicious treats I am going to need to run closer to 20 miles, than the 2 I have scheduled.

So sweet

I came back from the gym to find these beauties on my desk.  Ok that’s only half true, they were still in the box when I got them and I took them out and arranged them all pretty.  Fact – I have the best valentine in existence.

What are you loving this Valentine’s Day?  Do you have a workout planned with your valentine?

It would be out of character for my mom and I to go a day with out talking about food.  While my sister and my dad and I were out snowboarding on Saturday she was taking a trip to Whole Foods to pick up some wheat seed (so I could grow wheat grass!) among other things.

At thanksgiving I introduced her to the goodness that is bacon wrapped dates, and this weekend she introduced me to the goodness that is bacon, dates, Gorgonzola cheese, and pears.  On pizza.  She didn’t make it for me, but we spent a great deal of time discussing what delicious ingredients to mix together on a flat bread and I literally could not wait to get home and make some.

She sent me home with a pear, and some pre-made pizza dough (I really wish the grocery stores down here would get on board with selling pizza dough) and Ralph picked up some turkey bacon and Gorgonzola and while he was at the gym I went to work.

Most of the time when I cook, I don’t follow much of a recipe, so here’s how I went about putting this heavenly dish together.  Split the dough in half, and stretch each one out into a flat circle on a round pizza pan.  I wanted to use my pizza stone, so I popped that into the oven and then pre-heated the oven to 415 degrees.  Brush the entire crust with olive oil, and sprinkle with shredded mozzarella cheese (about three handfuls), followed by a sprinkle of Gorgonzola (3-4 tablespoons).  Before any of the real assembling, I prepped the rest of my ingredients – pitted and chopped the dates, cored and sliced the pear (very thinly), and cooked and chopped the bacon.

Each Pizza got 4 slices of bacon, about 1/2 cup chopped dates, and 1/2 of the sliced pear.  Top with more mozzarella and more Gorgonzola and bake!  Again, because I’m a weird cook, I don’t time things.  I check the crust to see when it starts getting brown, and then slide it off the pan onto the pizza stone until the bottom is nice and crispy.

It took extreme amounts of willpower to resist eating the ENTIRE thing.  Thankfully I had to share with Ralph and save leftovers for lunch today.

cheesy, bacon-y goodness

Because of the busy hectic crazy weekend I wasn’t able to get in my long run like I planned, and I pushed it to Yesterday instead.  Four miles on the treadmill wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, and my new strategy for making time go by quickly is listening to the same song on repeat for an entire mile.  New mile, new song.  And in a way it made each mile go by a little bit faster.

Do you have a trick for making long runs on the treadmill go by faster?  Do you ever make a dinner so amazing you cannot WAIT until the next day (or next meal) to eat it again? (I do that way too often)

This weekend was wonderful, chaotic, exciting, and emotional all wrapped up into one.  Here are just a few snapshots of the good times.

LARGE coffee for the road trip home

As well as some healthy munchies for the long drive

Ready to hit the mountain

Snow = nature's ice pack for bruised knees

It's hard to snowboard when your foot is numb... slight wardrobe adjustment needed!

Black Diamonds

Sisters!

aka how to survive a four hour drive by yourself.

Ralph was supposed to come home with me this weekend to celebrate my sister’s birthday, but last minute he needed to stay home and take care of some things at our apartment.  I couldn’t let my sister down, I hadn’t been home for her birthday in years, and last year I didn’t even send her a birthday present until May (I like to think I was extending the awesome-ness of her birthday a few extra months).  Plus I love a good excuse to spend time with my family so I was making the trip solo.

This was good at least in the sense that I could leave the second I left work, and my boss even let me skip out a few minutes early.

essentials for survival = coffee.  ipod.  HEALTHY snacks.  (not pictured because I can’t for the life of me figure out my sister’s computer.  But thanks to her for letting me borrow it…)

It’s easy to grab a bag of chips, or something or the sort for a long road trip.  They are easy to eat while driving, and comforting at that.  Of course I’ve taken enough car trips in my time to realize that would only leave me feeling like a blob of grossness when I got home.   So I stopped at the closest Wawa I could find, and loaded up on one turkey hoagie with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and cheese on whole wheat, a large bottle of water, a cheese and cracker package, and a bag of mint M&M’s.  I made a large cup of coffee before I left work and poured it into my travel cup for the drive.  I’m usually good for most of the trip but it’s that last hour that really kills you.

When I drive alone, music is crucial to my survival.  I like to sing a lot but I am not very good at it, so I take advantage of car rides like this to belt out every note at the top of my lungs.  It’s very good for keeping awake once it starts to get dark out.

It was one of my better drives home, with little to no traffic, and I only ended up being hungry enough for my hoagie.  The cheese and crackers were enjoyed with a nice tall glass of cupcake wine as soon as I got home, and the mint M&M’s are packed in my bag for today’s lunch.  The water went unopened, but the coffee was enjoyed to its fullest.

What are your road trip snack essentials?  What’s the longest road trip you’ve ever taken?

I came across an interesting discussion the other night, while reading through one of my favorite wedding forum’s fitness boards.  While the original poster was inquiring as to the different ways readers went about loosing weight, a bit of a debate came up as to what “eating healthy” really means since it is so subjective a term.  Whether you are eating healthy, or being healthy, can enitrely depend on your lifestyle and beliefs.  Vegans believe not eating any animal products is healthy, whereas if you eat Paleo, your main focus is (animal) protein.  Some people think that being thin means being healthy, but there are plenty of unhealthy ways to get thin, and plenty of people who are naturally slim and have healthy issues.

Plain and simple, according to Merriam-Webster, Healthy: enjoying health and vigor of body, mind, or spirit : well.  Health: the condition of being sound in body, mind, or spirit;especially : freedom from physical disease or pain.

Healthy, to me, is providing your body with the most nutrient dense foods, and avoiding a lot of processed empty calories.  It’s making small changes that last a lifetime and turn into a lifestyle instead of going on a crash diet or an extreme eating plan.  I don’t count calories but I am very aware of when my body is satisfied from food and don’t over feed myself.  It means exercising regularly, because that is when my mind and body feel the best.  It’s not about loosing my winter weight to fit into a swimsuit, it’s not about looking good in my wedding dress, but about a consistency.  I refuse to deprive myself of something if I really want it, but at the same time I feel like I eat a pretty well balanced diet.

But what is a diet really? I was discussing this same idea with a friend of mine recently.  She recently had changed up her eating habits, and when co-workers noticed she was eating differently they made the comment, “but you don’t need to be on a diet”.  Keep in mind she wasn’t actively trying to loose weight, or restrict her calorie intake, but was adding more nutrient dense foods, like lean meats and vegetables.   If you want to get technical, diet is not only reducing your calories to loose weight, it is “habitual nourishment” or “food and drink regularly provided or consumed” (again, according to Merriam-Webster).  A diet is the food you eat, for whatever reason you decide to eat it.  Do I consider myself “on a diet?”, of course not. But do I regularly eat a lot of fruits and veggies, and limit my fat and sugar? Yes I do.  If all you ate every day was pizza and soda you would be on a diet too, a bad diet.  If people choose to consume foods that are good for their bodies, why are they instantly judged as “being on a diet”?  I have had co-workers (not many and not often, but a few) say the very same thing to me. “You don’t need to be on a diet”, and I wish I could tell them, how do you think I say this size in the first place?.

I’m no doctor, and I’m no dietitian, but in my opinion there are many ways to be healthy and happy and enjoy life.  The fact of the matter is there are so many options out there and different things work for different people.

So what is your version of healthy?  Do you consider yourself “on a diet”?

I interrupt this regularly scheduled workout blog to bring you a little something of the paper good variety.  Because at this moment my life revolves around three things, work, running, and wedding crafting.  And now that I have finally completed one of the major players I thought I’d show it off a little.

It’s become a pretty common theme lately that I change my mind a lot on what I want for our wedding.  I blame it on too much time scouring the internet for inspiration, and my constant quest for perfection.  I knew from the very beginning I wanted to DIY our invitations, from the design, to the paper, to the envelopes.  I guess the only thing I didn’t do was MAKE paper.

I’m usually good at making decisions.  I see something, and I know instantly if I like it or not.  If you have to think about if you like something, move on.  So after much thought and research I had come up with something I was totally in love with.  My sisters were less than pleased, but I was convinced that this was it.

My original invitation design - sisters kept telling me it looked to much like a pumpkin.

More than a few months went by, and there were more than a few conversations with my sisters pointing out how much they thought the colors were too “pumpkin”.   Slowly our colors started morphing, and we decided to use our Phillies themed engagement photos for our save the date.  Baseball elements started popping up here and there, and before I knew it my sister’s were ridiculing me that  my wedding was going to be a hot mess with no theme.

Our save the date post cards. Another last minute change from my original design

I tried to take it all with a grain of salt, after-all what do two teenagers know about a wedding?  But something about what they said stuck, and maybe they were right.  I was going in a million directions and needed some cohesion.   Sometimes, as much as I don’t want to be, I really need to be talked out of some things.  I started thinking more and more about it, and one day I came home from work and said to Ralph, “Don’t hate me.  I want to redesign our invitations.  What do you think?”  Of course he said he didn’t care (what a doll), but said I was ridiculous for changing my mind.  I went right to work, again, and was really inspired by this baseball invitation, where the stem of the flower was oh so cleverly made to look like the laces on a baseball.

The concept was winning me over, but the details were lacking a little something.  About 100 more revisions later, the final version was born.  The task of actually assembling the invitations took about a month.  I made myself a massive to-do list including every single step, mostly so I could get the satisfaction of crossing things off of a list.  Every component needed to be printed, every paper needed to be cut, envelope liners cut, and inserted, envelopes addressed, papers were glued together, RSVP cards were numbered, and a week before my self imposed deadline I was staring at a bad of completely finished addressed and stamped envelopes.  The day I brought them to the post office I did a little happy dance as I put them into the mailbox, on their way to houses across the country.  This was starting to get real, and I honestly couldn’t be more excited.

Simple clean design with pops of color, a "hidden" baseball element and a graphic version of our flowers.

Changing your mind, or being indecisive can have negative results, it can backfire, or it can turn out amazing.  A lot of people asked my why in my right mind I would ever want to do something that requires this much work, and my answer was usually something along the lines of “because I can, and I enjoyed most of the process”.  Which come to think of it, could be a conversation about wedding invitations, OR marathon training.  There are lots of people who think both tasks are not worth it in the end, but for me, I enjoy the hard work that is put in almost as much as I enjoy the result that comes out.  The effort always ends up being worth it in the long run, and nothing can compare to the pride you feel when it is all over.

DIYing invitations is most definitely a marathon, and not a sprint.  Give yourself lots of time, do lots of practice runs, and pace yourself.

 *all personal details have been blurred for privacy reasons